Sure, I’ve told some lies, but nothing like those of Keith Foad

Pinocchio's nose grew when he told a lie. Keith Foad's didn't

I once told a friend that as he was jobless he could get a haircut from Canterbury Council City for 35p.

He was delighted until he actually rang the council to find out it was bollocks.

Another time I told someone that Elton John had been seen in Hersden buying cigarettes.

And I once told local businessman Carey Miles that the former leader of Canterbury City Council carried a sawn-off shotgun to committee meetings. He replied “that’s illegal”, rather than “that can’t be true”.

It isn’t true, of course. It’s just one of the porkies I told to amuse myself, to have a little laugh at others’ expense.

Keith Foad in 2004

The lies of a bloke called Keith Foad, on the other hand, are in another galaxy.

Foad first drew attention to himself when he posed as a policeman during the 1997 funeral of Princess Diana.

In 2004, he turned up at a brothel again posing as a policeman, a chief superintendent no less.

Dressed in a genuine uniform and brandishing a warrant card, he warned the madame that unless she allowed him to sleep with one of women he would close it down.

Foad, who was 46 at the time, in fact did this so often that the real police eventually caught up with him. They raided a brothel to find him pulling up his trousers and trying to escape through a window.

It earned him three years in prison for blackmail and a year for procurement of sexual intercourse using threats.

Foad had received another jail sentence for giving a false alibi to road rage killer Tracie Andrews, whom he did not know.  She had stabbed her fiance Lee Harvey to death in Worcestershire after a night out.

In 2012, Foad – by now completely bald and overweight – was back at Canterbury Magistrates Court for harassing his ex-girlfriend who lived in Herne Bay. He had been following her around, looking through her letter box and even sent the Red Cross where she worked nasty messages.

A reporter I used to work with knew Foad from a previous encounter and had his phone number. He had looked on in court as Foad was convicted of the harassment and decided to call him about it.

Foad denied that it had been him in the dock. Luckily, he was quickly able to provide an explanation for the confusion: “Oh, right, yeah. That must be my twin brother.

“He’s called Keith, too.”



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