A box of tissues reveals how some are determined to loathe their lives

Kleenex found itself at the centre of a furore over use of the word mansize

by Ted Phillips

Looking back at the month, there appears to be nothing unusual: Brexit, lots of Brexit. Motorway closures caused by idiots, Jeremy, Oh Jeremy, Corbyn and his cult followers, Arsenal supporters moaning again, and Kleenex to change the name of its “man size tissues” to “extra large tissues.

My initial reaction was to wonder whether it was true. Alas, it is. This well known brand has attracted “gender inequality complaints”.

Presumably because some women equally need to utilise the extra strength and inches – sorry, centimetres – that these supersize tissues give us.

Seriously? What is going on with this country? Have we succumbed to the irrelevant, minimal percentage of the population who take offence at every comment, phrase, statement or emoji that they see?

Do you really take offence? Or do you just joining the bandwagon of the tiny proportion of the country who cant cope with real life?

Let me explain. Walk into any pub in Canterbury, or any other town or village in the country. Talk to the average person at the bar, the normal person who works hard for his/her money, to support his/her family and enjoy a lifestyle that gives him a little happiness.

The banter heard is not reserved for the male species. We joke about things. We laugh, both at ourselves and at others. We take no offence. We give no offence – because we understand that it is banter. A joke. It means nothing.

Most of us do not give a damn who we are talking to: black, yellow, pink, Muslim, Sikh, Christian.

We dont care if you are straight, bi, gay or any of about 27 new definitions of one’s sexuality. We all talk among ourselves.

None of this actually matters. And more importantly we dont force this stuff on each other. The majority, probably 99.9%, take no offence.

The problem lies with the other 0.1 per cent. You are seriously the problem.  And in this 0.1 per cent, let me include our MP, Rosie Duffield.

Every opportunity to jump on this pathetic feminist bandwagon is taken. Rosie landed herself into a quagmire of negative press comments with her cultural appropriation comments about the opening night of the Tokyo Tea Rooms in Canterbury where staff were dressed as geisha girls.

Yes, the vocal 0.1 per cent took offence. And that 0.1 per cent hit the national press as a result. What great publicity for Tokyo Tea Rooms. I bet they couldnt believe their luck!

Idiots. Let me summarise: 99.9 per cent of us enjoy our lives. We work hard for every penny we can earn. We take personal responsibility in our lives, knowing it is our duty to be a good citizen of this great country.

We dont even consider, when communicating with fellow citizens, somebodys gender, sexuality, race or political views. In the same way, it doesnt bother us what ones favourite colour is, if we like spicy food or not, or if we like cats, dogs or actually dont like animals.

Really, it doesnt matter. And it really doesnt bother most of us. Man up and bloody enjoy your life. You only have one to live.

Ted Phillips is a chef and caterer who lives in Chartham


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